Culture Lab - Conflict or Misalignment: How to Diagnose the Real Issue
Hey, hey, Dr. Tara Vossenkemper here and you are listening to the Culture Focused Practice Podcast. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. We are finishing up our mini series on hard conversations, and we are going to end it with a bang doing a culture lab episode, woo, where we basically do a couple of real life examples.
The whole focus for this has been hard conversations. And so we really are approaching this culture lab with this notion of conflict or misalignment, that being kind of the question. So how do we diagnose the real issue going on? Because that diagnosis will then inform the way that we address whatever the topic of the hard conversation is.
Consider this your post-conflict series cleanup.
Not everything that feels like conflict actually is conflict. I wanna say that again. Not every single thing that feels like conflict is conflict. Sometimes whenever you think about that tension or you notice that tension, it's really just about poor expectations, unclear structure or misaligned values.
So our agenda for the day, we're gonna cover a few common misdiagnoses of conflict, feels very important. We're going to talk about a three part diagnostic tool for figuring out what the issue actually is. We're gonna run through two examples and then I've got a couple action steps for you.
So pretty quick, I think this will be pretty quick episode. Before we go further, make sure you subscribe to the podcast. The more you do, the more people we can serve ultimately, and my hope is that this is relevant for you and then you can benefit from continuing to listen or going back and binge listening to some previous episodes.
Alright, first agenda item, common misdiagnoses of conflict. Number one, role confusion that looks like tension. I can't tell you the number of times. A lack of role clarity is at the heart of tension. It's frustrating when your expectations for your role compared to somebody else's are wrong.
I worked somewhere where I had a position description that wasn't even relevant, so I'm operating from an entirely different playbook than my cohort, my colleagues. They're frustrated with me and I'm frustrated with them. And the reality is that we're not even singing the same song. We're not even looking at the same pages. We're not even in the same book. So role confusion.
So one thing is not being clear. Clear. Excuse me. I think there's another piece, which is where one person ends and another begins like the intersection of roles and responsibilities. For me, that all falls under role confusion. So, you know, take that as you will.
Second common misdiagnosis of conflict is ambiguous expectations. I think on the receiving end, whenever we get the sense that they're just, they're not listening or they're gonna do what they want, or why is nobody doing this thing that I'm asking them to do, it could very well be that the expectations are not clear.
It's just sort of maybe arbitrary, but more importantly, I would say ambiguous. It's not clear what you expect out of somebody, or it's not clear that there's a deadline for this thing or that there's a timeframe that needs to be done in, or that you expect weekly check-ins or that, whatever it might be.
It's ambiguous. And so from that, what looks like resistance might actually just be a lack of clarity around what's expected. So ambiguous expectations, not really conflict. Looks like it, but it's not.
Number three, low clarity systems. Man, I love this so much. I don't love when it happens, but I love how easy it can be to tweak and fix. Low clarity systems that create blame loops.
Let me finish that full thought before I go on. So if you have two people who are part of a system, for example, and they work together, but you're not, the system isn't fleshed out in such a way that it's clear who does what, what happens. Person A says, I did what I was expected to do. I, I don't know what happened for person B, but clearly, like I, I did my own thing. I did my responsibilities. Person B, guess what they're saying, the exact same fucking thing, because there's not clarity on what the system is and what actually needs to take place. And most importantly, who's responsible for doing what. So low clarity systems create blame loops that looks like conflict, but it's not. It's a shitty system. It's an un- fleshed out process.
Last thing, common misdiagnoses of conflict. Quote, conflict in quotes, A mismatch in values that becomes personal. This one is hard. This one is difficult. Ultimately when there's a misalignment in values, there doesn't have to be conflict from that.
If you have a value that is something about, you know, taking initiative, being a self-starter, something along those lines, and then you have a person who doesn't show up in that way, and you keep thinking that it is because you are, it's, it's you, that you're the one, well, I'm telling them what to do, they're just not listening to me.
I tell 'em I need them to be a self-starter. They're just not listening. They're the one that, you know, they thought whatever, whatever language you're using to explain the situation, and the other person. It feels personal, like they're not listening to me, period. It's me. It might just be that they don't match with values.
It might be that they're just not a self-starter. There's nothing wrong with that. For the record, I'm not judging that. I'm saying the mismatch in values looks like it's a sort of a personal vendetta, so to speak. It's not. It's just a mismatch in values. Happens all the time. Important to talk about.
So those are four common misdiagnoses of conflict. There are more, and of course, they're gonna have their own flavor depending on what practice you're at, but as broad categories, they're very common.
Okay, so how do we figure out what's going on? And I think that's ultimately the question.
There's a three part diagnostic tool I wanna share with you, and there's three steps. One is clarity, two is capacity, three is compatibility. And this is gonna feed straight into the examples that we get to.
Clarity first. Do they know what's expected? Was it communicated clearly and explicitly? Is it in writing? Is there a consequence? Is there accountability in place? Clarity. Clarity on what's expected. Who's responsible, and what happens if it doesn't work, if, if it doesn't come to fruition. Clarity's number one.
Capacity. Do they have the capacity to do the thing that's expected of them? I don't mean to be an asshole, but not everybody does. I think the easiest example is. If you need somebody to work 50 hours a week and they're only available for 15, they don't have capacity.
There's all sorts of capacity. There's emotional, there's cognitive, there's uh, physical capacity, there's logistical capacity, scheduling based stuff. So do they have the capacity to do the thing that's expected of them. So for me, this also includes support in order to do that thing as well. So we have to set them up in the best way that we can. But the ultimate question is, do they have the ability to grow the skills that are required for it? Do they have the bandwidth to do what is expected of them? Do they have the capacity?
And then the third C in all of this, the three part diagnostic tool, if you didn't catch on it's three Cs, clarity, capacity, and compatibility.
The third piece, is this a value fit. Is it a personality match? Is this person in alignment with us or is there an actual misalignment happening? I hope to God by this point you understand how important I think that a cultural alignment is at a group practice. It is a non-negotiable.
Have to have people who are bought into your system that's like in such a way that it feels like it's an extension of them and who align with the values, who align with the, the culture of the business.
So the third question, that's the third component that you would get to. I always am gonna look at structural things first. Do we have, do they know what's expected? Do we have something clear in place? I'm gonna look at capacity next. Do they have the support, the bandwidth? What's happening in their life? Are they able to do this job? And then I'm gonna look at values, highly likely in that order. It's rare that I'm gonna go out of that order.
So there's two quick examples we'll get through. Then, like I said, I'm gonna apply this diagnostic tool for you. Number one, intake call intake coordinator is not returning calls in a timely manner. First and foremost, is it clarity? Do they know what's expected?
Have you ever said to them, I need calls returned within this amount of time? If you're not available, this person should do it, or this other role should do it. If you can't, if you call in sick, make sure this person knows. Here's the structure and process that you need to follow in order to get the calls returned on time.
Have you been clear and explicit? And is this in writing? So is it a clarity thing? Making sure they know what they're responsible for specifically and where, where they end and somebody else begins.
Number two, is it capacity? Do they have the ability to talk on the phone?
I mean, I. My husband avoids it like the plague. He wants me to make all of his phone calls. He hates talking on the phone. So is this a person who hates phone calls and is gonna avoid them as much as possible? It's a silly example, but it's legit. Some people hate talking on the phone. So is this a capacity thing?
Do they have the skillset to be able to do this return calls in a timely manner? Do they have the support in place? Do they have the tools needed to be able to do this and track, what they're doing? Are the system set up? Are the processes set up? And do they have the temperament to be able to talk through people, whether it's through really deep things that somebody might be going through deep grief trauma or through angry clients.
If somebody's mad and pissed off about something, do they have the ability to stay regulated and engage with that person in that type of conversation? So, capacity.
Last question again. This is intake coordinator, not returning calls on time. Last question is gonna be compatibility. Is it a values mismatch?
Is there something about this person in particular that doesn't really sync up with the group? And again, that sounds kind of, um, this isn't based on how you feel. This is based on as objective as possible, a measurement with regard to values, and then doing it with other people who interact with this person on leadership or their direct supervisor.
Ultimately though, you want to do an assessment to figure out if this person is a values misalignment or not.
It is going to be one of those three things.
And capacity also can be about life circumstances at any given point in time. So it doesn't have to be capacity is, it's either a hundred percent yes a hundred percent of the time, or no, never.
You know, it can be, this person is generally great and their dog just died. So no, they don't have capacity. It was, you know, their partner passed, they were robbed, they whatever, whatever life things might happen.
My point is that can be tied in with capacity, so it's not a zero sum game? It's not just hardcore, yes or no. It's at an any given point in time, this might fluctuate a little bit. So that's one example.
A second example, I think this one is actually more interesting. A provider keeps canceling clients last minute.
So is this the, and then and slash or rescheduling them multiple times in a month. Again, let's walk through same things.
Clarity. Do they know what's expected? Do you have anything in writing about expectations for scheduling and maintaining a caseload? The schedule once it is actually on the books. Has there been anything explicitly said to this person about those expectations? Has there been any corrections that have been made to ensure that there's clarity around what's expected?
Has everything been communicated clearly with regard to scheduling expectations with this provider? So it's clarity.
Capacity, do they have the capacity to maintain the schedule that's required in this role? And so if you are requiring 32 client facing hours or patient facing hours. Let's say, you know, 55 minute sessions or something, do they have that ability to maintain that or, or are they saying, I can only see 15 clients in a week?
That's a capacity mismatch, which has nothing to do with the person. They might be a great cultural fit and they might clearly understand what's expected, but they literally don't have the capacity to do it. It's just too much for them. So capacity it, again, it's gonna be financial, emotional, logistical, cognitive, specific to the time, the circumstances as they are right in that moment, something might be going on. So we need to rule out, either figure out if this is part of what's happening or rule it out.
And then the last piece of course is the values misalignment. So the provider canceling clients, is this about cultural like norms that are left unspoken? Have we not made our values explicit enough? Are they in values alignment with us or not? It's really what it comes down to.
And it actually, you know the question. It's funny because I think sometimes we see behavior and we just focus on behavior, and then we don't go further to what is behind this behavior.
Like, I see this behavior I needed to change. Cool. Let's say you've addressed it. A bunch of times with this person. So, you know, it's clear, you know, they do have the capacity.
Let's say you have a value that's around consistency and reliability. You know, they are, their behavior is obviously different, but specifically maybe they are really way more spontaneous than consistent, and they can't handle the lack of freedom to just willy-nilly change your schedule. It just doesn't work for them. It's a values misalignment.
There's nothing wrong with being spontaneous or willy-nilly.
I think that's my preference, honestly, but it's gonna be an issue if the expectation is consistency and reliability, and the value in particular is consistency and reliability, because it's gonna trickle down it already is to their clients, but it's also gonna influence all the other people around them.
By influence, I mean intersect with, it's gonna have, uh, potential negative ramifications.
Okay. So those are the two examples.
I have a couple action steps for you. One, just choose one situation right now that feels kind of tense. Any, any situation, it doesn't matter what, it can be a situation if you use EOS, it can be a situation on your issues list. It can be something you've been sort of mentally grappling with or potentially avoiding 'cause you don't wanna deal with it yet. Take that situation, that step one is identify the situation.
Step two, run it through clarity, capacity, compatibility. Run it through that three part diagnostic tool. Figure out what's actually going on.
You will, might be surprised to know or to to see that really often if your hiring system is on point. It's way more often the case that it's a clarity thing, that you think you're being clear about something and that there are very clear expectations about requirements and you know the role, but there's not, and somebody is left feeling confused and maybe unsure of how they can ask you, or a little bit overwhelmed, something like that.
So choose that hard situation, that active situation right now. Run it through the clarity, capacity, compatibility, you know, series of questions, and then talk to your team. Using that language and reset from there.
And so I'm, I'm probably potentially more transparent than I need to be, but I'm just, I'm very straightforward with my people, at least very honest with my people.
I think sometimes I might beat around the bush, but I'm very honest with my people. And so I would say like this, this is the way we go through this process. If there's a situation that comes up, I'm gonna ask, have we clarified everything first? I'm gonna reflect back on us first. Have we done everything we needed to do to be clear about this?
Then I'm gonna shift into does this, is this person at capacity? Do they have the capacity to do this thing? And then I'm gonna shift into is this cultural misalignment? So compatibility piece, goodness. I think that's it. A couple more things. Very small. Very, very small. Very small.
One. Subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already. You can binge listen to all the previous episodes I asked you to do this. I'm gonna ask you to do it again. Just subscribe.
Number two. This shit is hard, folks. I know that it is. I live it, I love it, and I live it out, and it's hard.
If you need help with the application of any of these things. And slash, or you want space to talk through this stuff, join the Culture Focus Practice membership. So this is where we have the space and time to be able to really dig into your specific examples and scenarios and figure out how do we apply the tools that we need in order to figure out what's going on, how do we address it, and how to maintain whatever changes we need to.
You can do that at www.taravossenkemper.com. Work with me. Culture Focused practice membership. You can be twice a month live. One is for a live training, which my preference is always to take people's recommendations so we can do specific things that are relevant for you. Two, is for a live q and a. That's my favorite thing because you bring your questions in real time and we, boom, talk through 'em, troubleshoot 'em.
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