Why Numbers Don't Fix Fear - The Emotional Side of EOS
Hello, my friends, Dr. Tara Vossenkemper here, and you're listening to the Culture Focused Practice podcast. Hooray. Thank you for joining me. I super appreciate your time.
I don't know what's in the air, but I've really been on a numbers kick lately. I've been on a scorecard kick. I've been on a metrics kick. I've been thinking about KPIs, and so I am continuing that trend today. We're gonna talk about why numbers don't fix fear. We're gonna lean into the emotional side of EOS.
Here's what I'll say to kick this off. EOS is brilliant at clarifying the what. The logistics, the data, the issues, the measurables, even the vision and the values. Incredible. But here's what also I'll say, is that having clarity around numbers doesn't necessarily fix. Any sort of fear that you might have.
You can have a scorecard that looks incredible or horrific, but let's go with incredible. And you still might feel panic or a sense of franticness, if that's a word, or intensity or anxiety around revenue or retention or leadership.
And the point of this episode is to unpack that emotional side of EOS and basically embrace that we can't outsource courage to our spreadsheets. As nice as that might be.
Before we go any further, make sure you hit subscribe so you can stay up on all the new episode drops and I guess go back and binge listen. And it might be easier to find things if you do that.
And let's do a quick agenda just to give some parameters to the episode. Three items on here. It's gonna be a fast one today. Number one, data gives clarity, but not courage. We're gonna talk a little more about that. Number two, why fear still shows up even if the numbers are quote, right, end quote. And number three, how to use EOS tools without bypassing the emotionality. I would say the human side, but the emotional side of leadership of ownership.
So. Let's get into shit, shall we?
Number one, data gives clarity, but not courage. So let's just assume that your scorecard is great. Your clinical scorecard is looking incredible. Your clinicians are performing well. Your cancel rate is low, your churn rate is low, your retention is high, your session count is high.
And for whatever reason, you still wake up and you are anxious about revenue and session counts and the number of clinicians and cancel rate, all the things that look good right now you still feel anxious about.
One of the things that comes to mind for me right away is that clarity is not equivalent to comfort. They're not one and the same. They're not mutually exclusive, but also they don't equal each other. So even if your numbers are showing you something that's happening, you and I both know two things.
First, those numbers can change. You've probably seen them look bad and you have remembered and felt that emotional rollercoaster that takes place when they, you know,
spike and drop over and over, and you don't feel like you have any sense of what's going on or any semblance of control. So that's one thing is that there's this reality that numbers can change.
And then the second thing is that just because you have clarity over your numbers, it doesn't remove any of the shadows. And so maybe I'm saying the same thing in a different way, but even if I have clarity on what's happening. It doesn't mean that I don't still hold fear about what could happen or I don't have the felt experience of when shit wasn't going well, living inside of my body.
I know what that's like. I know how that felt. I know how it snuck up on me. I know all of these things viscerally, and so if things look good, I might also understand that that doesn't mean they will look good forever without the right attention being paid and the right course corrections made.
So having that clarity again, doesn't just immediately remove any of the shadows, any of the fear, any of the doubt, any of the anxiety.
And I think it's important to say here that EOS is a structure. It's not an emotional regulator fuck. It's not even an emotional barometer. It's a structure for your business.
That's it. And structures are as lifeless or as cold as you want them to be. Or they can be as rich and robust and nourishing as you want them to be. But a structure is just a structure. It is not meant to regulate all of the emotionality that goes into business ownership or leadership. However, I will contend that having structure and having clarity should and can help to regulate that emotionality, but I think that's an indirect effect. That's not the intention behind it.
Okay, so agenda item number two, why fear still shows up even when the numbers are right. There's a couple of concepts here that I am not gonna get into depth with, but I just wanna like voice.
One is that you have a lived experience with your business, and my guess is at some point you've struggled with something related to finances or sessions or, uh, clinicians or culture, something, you know, you've had some issue or problem.
My further guess is that in that experience where you've had those issues, you've also felt anxiety or fear or distress, or just high levels of stress for long periods of time.
And so it might be the case that if something happens in your business, you just automatically sort of remember what that was like and that feeling is, shoop, online and now, now you're back. You know? So I think that's one very broad brush stroke way of saying your lived experience with your business will likely come back up, even if your numbers are going well and slash or if you notice a drop in them, even if it's slight or a big dip, even if it's seasonal, you know, you still might have that physical, visceral experience.
The second broad concept is that your shit to own is still your shit to own. My stuff around enoughness doesn't go away when my numbers look good, like it's still gonna be there because what it's gonna morph into is shit looks good. Fuck. Is that still enough? Like is that, is that good enough? How does this continue? Am I doing enough to make sure that it continues?
That's my stuff. That's my fucking stuff that drives me crazy. And I also love that little part of me. But it's mine to own. And it doesn't just go away because these numbers are in front of me and they look good. I might say, oh, that looks incredible. I'm super happy about these numbers, and I still have this tiny little part of me that sometimes she gets real big and she is full of doubt and she's questioning and she's wondering, and she's still not sure if it's enough.
Those numbers do not soothe identity level fears. Sometimes they amplify them, sometimes they might quiet them for a little bit, but the reality is that that identity stuff is purely mine and it's going to show up in every facet of my life. And every time it does, instead of seeing this as a, shut the hell up to myself to that little part, I might see it as an opportunity to try to heal and massage out the knots in this part. So then when we're in a good place, again, I don't have the same level of intense response to it, if that makes sense. I hope that that makes sense.
So she's probably always gonna be there is my point. The identity level stuff for you will likely always be there. That doesn't mean that the intensity at which you feel it currently is going to be your station life forever.
Another example, I think this is like a cleaner example. Let's say your revenue has been holding steady for, you know, eight months, nine months, a full year. Let's say a full year, because that means you've gone through a whole season, a couple of seasons in a practice, but you're scared of a downturn, because you did not grow up with any semblance of stability.
Stability was nonexistent, and so when you get it at all, immediately, you're filled with mistrust. You do not trust stability. Nope. Doesn't feel safe. Doesn't feel good. Doesn't feel familiar. You don't like it. You don't want it, you don't understand it. That's just another example of your numbers might look good and something else is still going on.
Third agenda item. How to use EOS tools without bypassing the emotional side.
One, you can't. Good luck. How could anybody? You can't bypass your emotional side is a whole fucking half of your brain. That doesn't matter. My point is here's some more practical ways you might do this.
Number one is just name it. Just identify what's going on. So if you're looking at a series of numbers and it all looks great and you still feel anxious, just make your anxiety a player at the table. Why can she or he or it not have a voice?
I don't mean a loud voice, I don't mean it needs to lead the show, but give it a label. Oh my gosh. Just label it. Yeah. I still feel anxious. I still feel anxious about this and that might be yours to dive into and try to figure out and try to connect with and deal with and massage out. But if it's there, from my perspective, it's worth a voicing because if we don't voice it and identify what's happening, especially if you're with leadership and even doing the solo is helpful, then the thing that gets unnamed.
It's almost like it starts to grow and take up more and more space. You know, like that kid's book with the dragon in the house, they kept ignoring the dragon and then it got bigger and bigger and bigger, and then they couldn't even get inside the house anymore 'cause the dragon took up all the space.
And finally, my son says, findally. So findally we get to this end to the book and they findally talk about the dragon and then it shrinks back down to its normal size. And I think maybe they, the kid ended up with a pet dragon or something in the end.
My point is that the concept is the same. Labeling it does not make it stronger. It takes the power away from it and brings it back to you. I would go so far to say that it's empowering to label the shit that's happening because it's gonna happen regardless, number one. And number two, now you're not trying to hide or run from it. You're just voicing this thing that's happening and then not allowing it to dictate the rest of the show. So one thing is just naming whatever the thing is.
Second thing is. And this to me kind of coincides with number one. So you could name whatever the fear is on your own, but I would also say bring it into L 10. Bring it into your leadership team conversations.
My team knows me. They know that I have shit. I'll voice it to them. They might ask me about it if something's happening. If I feel any level of like frantic energy, I might say I. I am like feeling frantic about this and I think it's coming out and they may say like, yeah, we're starting to see a little bit of like urgency with you or starting to see a little bit of something with you.
That's because I voice it enough that they understand that it's okay to talk about for myself and for any of my leadership team. It's not just me that does this. My entire team does this. So we bring up our emotionality into L 10 when it's relevant. I'm not talking about we, you know, devolve into therapy sessions. Not that therapy is a devolution de-evolution, what would that be? Doesn't matter.
My point is we're not turning our L tens into therapy. We are labeling the players at the table to try to make sure that any moves that we make are not made by those fear-based players, like anxiety, like enoughness, like overwhelm, like stress, like panic, they get space. Cool.
They can exist. They have space. We love them. Great. They don't get to run the show. That doesn't make any sense. Y'all saw Inside Out Two, you know how it ends.
Third component to all of this. EOS, and I can't speak for Gina Wickman, so this is purely Tara's thoughts on EO s, is meant to create space for the human experience. It can be treated as cold and callous and, you know, uh, sort of, I'm thinking like a metal frame with no life.
However, I think instead you can just incorporate humanity into all that you're doing with it. So in L10s, we're voicing the things that are coming up when relevant, when they come up and start to inform what we're working on, for example, they're gonna be labeled instead, and then we're gonna try to tease them out and set them to the side so we can focus on the task at hand.
Obviously, in our core values, we're gonna see humanity. As we're developing what these are, as we're operationalizing them, as we're seeking to live them out. In any of our feedback style conversations, I mean, we see that we can build being human and being fallible and being authentic and real in to everything related to EOS.
The same holds true whenever things aren't going well for you internally, like emotionally is what I mean. So don't think that just because you're using EOS, you have to be some sort of robot. You don't. You get to be human and you get to also be a leader and you get to also use EOS as a structure for the business.
So if I can bring this all the way home, I think that the key takeaway here is that numbers help us see what's happening, which for me honestly is anxiety relieving. And for some people I know that it's anxiety inducing. Regardless, numbers help us see what is happening at any given point in time, but they don't dissolve fear in and of themselves.
And EOS of course, creates boatloads of clarity, especially when used correctly. But leaders still have to show up honestly. They still have to embrace humanity and intense feelings. And unpleasant feelings and own their shit. And maybe even just be courageous.
I mean, that sounds so silly to say, like be courageous by feeling and sharing it. I do think that, I think that being truthful about how you feel is an act of courage. It is a vulnerable act. It is a sign of strength.
If it's harder to voice it than to hide it or to attempt to run from it, then it's an act of strength to do that ' cause you're doing something harder than the alternative.
And by doing so, you're also modeling that it's okay to be human at your practice. So.
I told you this is gonna be short and sweet. This is might be the shortest episode I have ever done. You are welcome.
Thank you for listening with me, for being here with me. You know how I feel about time. If you don't, I highly value it.So I really appreciate you gifting me with some.
Two more things very quick. One, I have a freebie download for you. It's the Scorecard Starter Kit. If you are also wanting to get dirty with data or you feel a little bit overwhelmed, you're not sure where to start, just download the Scorecard Starter Kit, you can go to www.taravossenkemper.com/scorecard-starter-kit.
Secondly, if you really want help using EOS in a way that includes the emotional reality of leadership, just consider the Mastermind.
You don't have to sign up today, but go check it out. You can join the first access list and that's at www.taravossenkemper.com/eos-mastermind.
As per usual, it's been great and that's all for me. Have a great day. I'll see you next time. Thank you so much. Bye.
