Accountability ≠ Assholery - How to Address the Problem Without Wrecking the Person
If your “accountability” strategy is thinly veiled public shaming, congratulations—you’re not building culture, you’re building silence. In this episode, I break down how to call people on their bullshit without being a dick about it. We dig into why shame backfires, what accountability actually is, and how to hold a line with clarity, curiosity, and respect. Fewer hot seats. More alignment. Better results.
You’ll hear about:
- Why shame triggers hiding, defensiveness, and retaliation (aka: zero learning)
- Accountability as a feedback loop, not a punishment ritual
- Scripts and moves for realignment: clarity → curiosity → next step
- Dignity over dominance: holding standards and the human
Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction and Podcast Welcome
01:37 The Problem with Shame in Accountability
07:00 Understanding True Accountability
12:24 Holding Standards with Respect
17:56 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
01:37 The Problem with Shame in Accountability
07:00 Understanding True Accountability
12:24 Holding Standards with Respect
17:56 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
CTA: Want a practice where accountability feels normal, not nuclear? Join Inside the Living Practice—monthly live Q&A + trainings with me, a tight-knit community, and only-the-useful resources: http://www.taravossenkemper.com/the-membership
